A good day for daisies

So Friday was a hard day. I think the overwhelming exhaustion had just about done me in...and then I went to Chinese class. I can now honestly say that I know exactly how my kindergarten students have felt over the past several years when I look at them and make these strange sounds they dont know and I expect them to repeat them perfectly, and they look at me with a total and complete blank look. I was there. I was the total and complete blank look. And as the hour and a half slowly passed, the knot in my throat just kept getting bigger and bigger. All I wanted to do was escape to my room and cry. At one point I really wondered what in the world I was doing in China.

Thankfully, prior to Chinese lessons, we had planned a trip to the flower market. Mikey had suggested getting some plants to "liven" my room up a little. Although they have the shelf life of about 3 days, there is something so joyful about a daisy, so I got a few (I needed quite a bit of livening...). It just seemed like a good day for daisies.

When we got back, after a short meeting, I went to my room to try to sleep off a little bit of my frustration. That didnt work, so I went down to the first floor for a little play time. After about an hour I came out with a fresh mani/pedi, courtesy of Isaac and Jaelynn (now who wouldnt feel better after that? Notice the polish on my feet too :)....

After this, I did some laundry (clean sheets also a great feel good) and Mariah and I watched "Pride and Prejudice". There's something quite comforting about popcorn, hersheys, Mr. Darcy, and a good talk with a friend.

I know that hard days will come. They are inevitable, whether here or anywhere. I am thankful for the little things the Lord brings into our lives to lift our spirits at just the right time, like daisies. I am grateful for old friends that I can share my heart with, and new friends who will become those that I will often turn to, especially when I cant call home because its the middle of the night. I am grateful that His mercies begin afresh each morning; that He is my inheritance, so I can place my hope in Him. I am grateful that will never change, no matter what kind of day it is.

Welcome home

It's hard to believe after so many months of praying, planning, and preparing, I am finally here at Maria's. For the longest time, it felt like August would never get here, now it seems as though August has come and gone in the blink of an eye.

After some lengthy travel and a few fun-filled days in Beijing, the time finally came to come "home". Mikey and I arrived in Luoyang on Sunday night and as Mikey and Mariah walked me to my room, the only way I could describe how I felt was overwhelming relief. It was like the planning, the anxiety, the fear, the uncertainty could all cease because I was finally here. That's definately not to say that I havent been anxious, fearful, and uncertain since arriving (among many other emotions), but it's all been covered in indescribable peace, truly a peace that passes all understanding; a peace that even though things are tough and somedays I just want to cry, I just know it's "right"; peace in knowing there's nowhere else I would want to be right now but here. I was so happy to finally get to unpack my bags and sleep in a bed that I knew would be my bed for many months to come.

Here's a little peek into "home"...

The staff here as been so incredibly welcoming and supportive during my first week of getting settled in. Mikey, Mariah, Jona, and Heidi have consistently checked on me just to be sure I'm "ok" and they ayis and other staff have been so graciously welcoming despite my inability to communicate with them very well. But by far the best part, of course, is hearing "Becca!" when I walk into some of the rooms and seeing the smile on those sweet faces once they start to recognize who you are. One of my favorite things is when I walk into the Jungle Book room and I hear "Becca, come here!" coming from Isaac's little voice. After playing for a little while each day, he will look up at me and say "Becca no bye-bye"...I cannot tell you the joy that overflows in my heart when I can look into his sweet face and say "Right, Becca no bye-bye."

Sweet friends, Isaac and Jaelynn

A quick update on travels...

What a day it's been...well, I guess two days. The time is blurring together.

I am sitting at JFK right now about an hour before take-off. Yesterdays travel didnt pan put quite as scheduled, so I am a day late. Yesterday started at 3:45 am with a 6:35 departure out of Pensacola to Dallas. During my layover in Dallas I did get to have breakfast with Melinda, Gigi, and Sofie, which was a wonderful treat. Then I was on my way to JFK. To say JFK is overwhlming is definately an understatement. By the time I reached my terminal, they had closed the flight to Beijing and given my seat to someone else. My initial instinct...to cry. But, I did well holding it in. They provided me a room at a nearby hotel with three meals. Thankfully, there was a three hour marathon of The Office on TBS. It provided the comic relief I needed after a day of frustration and dissapointment.

So, today I was sure to get to the airport in PLENTY of time...4 hours early! Initially they told me that I would have to be stand-by but that they were expecting a full flight. Again, I could feel the tears. Thankfully, the lady that was at the counter yesterday came and gave me a seat right away. Ok, so then came security.  But at that point, I felt better, at least I had a ticket.

I can't really begin to decribe the thoughts running through my mind. I think the eagerness to be there at this point has trumped the fear and anxiety I was experiencing yesterday. I guess that will come once I am on the plane and have 13 hours to think about it!

Thank you to all of you that have prayed, called, sent texts and encouraging messages over the past few days. I am truly grateful.

Boarding is beginning, so I am off... finally! :)

Whirlwind of a summer

This summer has flown. It's hard to believe I only have two days left before I leave...it has seemed so far for so long that I dont think the reality has hit that I leave on Tuesday. Reality probably wont hit until I actually set foot in Beijing. It will be pretty real then, I am sure. But my bags are packed (to the ounce!) and I am ready to go!

This summer seems like it has been an endless flurry of road trips and flights, visits and meals, all in an attempt to see everyone I can before leaving.

Here's an attempt to hit the highlights (mostly in pictures)... enjoy! :)

JUNE
The first week in June I had the chance to spend a few days in Nashville visiting my grandmother and aunt, a friend from home, and lastly a day at the ShowHope office. While at ShowHope I had the chance to spend a few hours with Kathy processing through grant applications. It really gave me a small glimpse into the magnitude of how many families ShowHope helps. Being with the staff, as in my previous visit, made me all the more ready to be at Maria's.

I spent a week in Jacksonville visiting with friends, followed by a week in Orlando with my cousin and his family. During my visit to Jacksonville, my sweet best friends hosted a "dang" (that's party in Chinese)...

At the happiest place on earth, with some of the sweetest "littles" on earth...

Leaving Jacksonville was hard. The reality of saying goodbye hit for the first time. During my drive to Orlando, for a brief moment, I remember asking myself, "What in the world am I doing? Am I crazy?"

"Be anxious for nothing..." Phil 4:6

And a little trip down memory lane on the way back to Alabama... go Gators!

JULY
I got to spend the first few weeks in July with family in Minnesota and more of my favorite "littles". One of the highlights of my time there was getting to share with Brady and McKayla, my 6 and 7 year old cousins (aka "littles") about Maria's Big House of Hope and the children there. We spent about an hour one morning watching videos on the ShowHope blog (www.showhope.org). That night when we got home, Brady asked, "Hey Bec, could we watch some more of those 'hope shows'" :) McK spent several days on a 5-page picture of MBHOH for me to put up in my new classroom. She wanted it to be just right, right down to the slides on the playground and the kids playing. It was priceless.

After I returned from Minnesota, packing began... overwhelmingly. I don't think one realizes how much stuff you have until you have to put it into confined spaces, whether its a box or a suitcase, or just a pile until you decide where it needs to go. During this time I also made sure I spent time with as many people as I could, and was intentional about starting to say goodbye to people...much to my surprise, I would see many of them again! Some of my sweet friends conspired with my parents (who came to help me pack and move) to get me to a friend's "birthday dinner," which wasnt really a birthday dinner after all...

SURPRISE!

So, here's to a great summer full of wonderful, beautiful memories to carry with me on the adventure to come.... here we go!

Addition to "A day of mixed emotions"

I know I have already posted today, but I just had to add this little "happy" I received earlier...
In my "mixed emotions" post I mentioned missing that exciting feeling of getting my class list. Today I recieved an email with a list of kids at Maria's that will be in my preschool class. Caitlin, the girl who has been there this past year, put together a list of the kids along with short descriptions of each child's medical conditions and personality traits. I was so excited to sit down and read about each one and then it hit me, this is just like getting my annual class list. Whether here or there, each name represents a precious child that I get the priviledge of knowing and teaching. I look forward to adding pictures soon, but for now, please begin praying for these sweet children by name. Please pray for me as I get to know them and that God would give me the patience and knowledge on how to best serve each one individually, especially at the beginning as we work through the language barrier and get to know each other.

Here they are:
Isaac, age 4
Jaelynn, age 5
Naomi, age 3
Judah, age 4
Jessica, age 5
Fahlin, age 2

Spring fever

Here's a look back at some spring highlights...
As I was going through my journal, I came across this quote. I feel like it sums up why I am going back and intentionally remembering the things the Lord has done. I hope it encourages you, but it's also a way for me to constantly be reminded, for the days when I need reminding...

"I have given you the enjoyment of My fellowship on the mountain top to prepare you for the ministry in the valley of service. Take the glory of the mountain top with you." (Come Away, My Beloved)

MARCH
On March 1st my passport arrived...woohoo! First thing to check off my long to-do list!

In mid-March, my sweet Monday night family, the Clowers, hosted a brunch for me and some of my friends to help me get my support letters ready. I was (and continue to be) so grateful for the amazing support-system the Lord has given me during this time. I am amazed by how He has so overwhelmingly provided for me through so many of you. Thank you!

Here are a few shots of my sweet friends who helped me fold, stuff, seal, stamp, and address :)

One day as I was doing my devotion I came across this excerpt in Come Away, My Beloved. It seemed quite fitting...

"There is a work ready for you, and I have prepared you for it. It is too wonderful to miss. It will be silent but powerful. I will cause the veil to drop, and you will enter a new area of experience. You will be given knowledge in My Spirit that is not to be found in books... You will serve Me in ways you have never heard of before. It is My work. I have laid it out for you. Keep clear of man's work. Stay free to do mine. You will not miss it if you keep close to Me and stay sensitive to My Spirit."

APRIL
On April 6th I purchased my airline ticket! It's officially official! Departure date: August 16th.

Around the end of April was when the reality of leaving started to set in a bit more, as the school year was nearing an end and I realized I only had a few weeks left with my precious kiddos. Right around that time I also received a package from Cathy at ShowHope with some sweet pictures of some of the kids at Maria's. The timing could not have been better.

MAY
May was a whirlwind of a month! By the beginning of the month, God had provided the amount I needed to spend a year at Maria's, and the support kept coming. Wow. In Genesis 22:14, Abraham refers to God as "Yahweh-Yireh" which means "the Lord will provide"...what an amazing promise.

In mid-May, our church hosted a ladies luncheon centered around orphan awareness. What a blessing to have the support of HFC and an awesome opportunity to speak out for some of the least of these around the world.

My dear friends, Cris and Karen Mahy started Mercy's Hope after adopting their daughter Karina. Mercy's Hope is a ministry of hope to the orphaned and underpriviledged of Ukraine  www.mercyshope.org

Show Hope: a movement to care for orphans. This is the organization I will be working alongside while at Maria's Big House of Hope

www.showhope.org

My friend Laura and her husband Adam are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. You can follow their adoption journey at  http://adoptingswanns.blogspot.com/

Enjoying great food and great company at the China table

My new friend Emma, adopted from China. Here she is showing off a picture of herself and her friends on the day they officially joined their forever families

Laura and I with our speaker Leanne. Leanne and her husband have adopted their precious Khai from Vietnam. We were so moved by their story and how God is using them to speak on behalf of adoption 

Lastly, I couldnt let May go without sharing a picture of my sweet babies on graduation day!

A day of mixed emotions

Today was filled with mixed feelings...one of those days where I just really didnt know exactly how I felt. This time next week, I will be on an airplane headed to Beijing. Can you guess the feeling? Excited...absolutely! A little anxious for sure, but not enough to trump the excitement. Today was also the day when all the teachers from Westbrook went back to school for in-service and to prepare for school starting on Thursday. This is the first time in 7 years that I am not getting ready for a new school year to begin at WCS. I love that anxious feeling right before school starts (along with my annual back to school dreams where the kids are completely out of control! haha!). I love the excitement of getting my class list and writing their names on everything. And of course, for those of you who know me, you know I love organizing the kids school supplies :) So, naturally, that all comes with a little sadness. Please dont misunderstand me though, I am 110% sure that I am supposed to be at Maria's and I would not trade that to go back, but as with anything you love, there is always that hint of sadness. I am sure I will be experiencing that "butterflies in my stomach" feeling soon enough, just in a totally different context!

One of the most difficult things I think I have had to balance mentally these past few months has been the sheer excitement I feel along with the realization that it really is okay to be sad. It's okay to be sad to leave my family, my friends, and the places in which I feel most comfortable for a place that is completely new and unfamiliar, with people I don't know (who also don't know me), and a culture that I have never experienced. In fact, I think there would be something wrong in not feeling sadness. But in that sadness I don't ever want to give the impression that I am not excited. The excitement I feel in my heart when I think of holding those sweet babies. The excitement I feel when I think of building new friendships with people half-way across the world and being able to serve with them. The excitement of playing, singing, hugging, and just loving on precious children. And even once I am there, in the excitement of it all I know there will be sadness. Sadness over missing those I love. Sadness over the lives of precious children.

So, here's to shedding a few tears in exchange for the sweet smiles to come.

February...from the mouth of babes

So now that you have the scoop on how my time at Maria's came to be, I want to take some time to share some of the moments that God has used during the past 6 months to confirm that this is from Him, along with many of the people that have encouraged and supported me along the way, believing that He who began this good work will be faithful to complete it (Phil. 1:6).

FEBRUARY...
Although I had started telling a few people about China, I wanted to wait for just the right time to tell my sweet kids. On Valentine's Day I told my kids that I would be moving to China. We had spent every Monday since August learning about a new country, so naturally, I had saved China for this day. Not sure how they would react, I broke the news slowly. After showing them the location, I asked my kids what language they thought was spoken in China (thinking it was pretty obvious...) They responded with "Spanish...English...Arabic" so I again emphasized "CHINA"...one of my kids yelled out "I know...it's Chinish!" :) That seemed to break the ice!

The conversation turned to orphans and adoption, and I was amazed by the insight and compassion that my sweet kids offered. Needless to say, we never got to our reading lesson that day, but it was ok. One of my students was adopted and it was so neat to see her making the connection to what God had done in her life by leading her to her mommy and daddy (and her middle name just happens to be Maria, which we all thought was pretty special).

You can imagine the text messages I received that night from parents asking if this was true...you never know what you'll get coming from a 5 or 6 year old!

At the end of the month, I had a chance to visit the Show Hope office in Franklin for the first time. Although I was already excited about Maria's, my time there with the staff encouraged me more than I could have imagined. It was so neat to meet so many people who not only talked about caring for orphans but were doing so in their own lives in very real and tangible ways. If you havent already, I encourage you to check out this amazing ministry at www.showhope.org

Sidenote: at the same time that all of this was going on, my dear friends, Adam and Laura Swann announced that the Lord was leading them to adopt a child from Ethiopia. It was such a neat thing that God chose to lead us in such similar directions at the same time and I cannot wait to see how God continues to faithfully provide and teach them through their journey. If you would like to follow their adoption journey, go to http://adoptingswanns.blogspot.com/

March will have to wait until tomorrow...dessert it waiting :)

A look back, part 2...saying yes!

On January 1st I journaled a prayer asking God for direction...
"Grow my patience and dependence on You as I wait for your leading. You know my heart is open to location and duration, but I do pray that You would continue to refine those desires to line up with what You are desiring of me."

At the time, I had started looking at a sending organization and was considering going to Africa or Spain; but in the back of my mind I kept going back to Maria's Big House of Hope. At the time I was receiving emails from Show Hope about their summer short-term trips, but knew this was not something that would be feasible if I was seriously looking at going somewhere long-term. So, one day after receiving another email about the trips this summer, I emailed Cathy Troyer at Show Hope and explained to her where I was and what I felt the Lord calling me to and asked if there may be any opportunities at Maria's. I was expecting either to get a "no" or no reply at all, but at least I would have the peace of mind that it was not an option. Much to my surprise, I received an email a few weeks later from Robin Hill, director of New Hope Foundation in Beijing, stating that they would be in need of a kindergarten teacher at Maria's beginning in July or August. It took me totally off guard, but it wasnt 5 minutes before I was pulling up the application, filling it out, and sending it off! By the following Wednesday, my references had been checked and an invitation extended. Part of me thought it was too good to be true and that something would fall through somewhere along the way, but in hindsight, I was reminded of Ephesians 2:10...God had this "good work" prepared long ago.

Around this same time, God brought this amazing family into my life that commited to pray with me as I prayed and sought God's leading. So every Monday night I joined them for dinner as they walked through this unfolding with me. One of the first times we had dinner together, I told them about the opportunities to serve in Africa and Spain, as well as the email I had received about teaching at Maria's. Jeanne asked me "if you had to choose right now, which would you choose?" I knew I wanted to go to Maria's, but I really was afraid to say it...afraid that if I said it, God would take that opportunity away. Twisted thinking, I know, but sometimes Satan has that way of planting those seeds of doubt in our minds. This was something I really wrestled with as I prayed that week and I finally had to come to the point where I had to trust that this was from Him. I remember sitting with my friend Megan and finally saying it "I'm going to Maria's!"

A look back, part 1...stirring

I started keeping a journal sometime at the beginning of this year to take with me to China. I began to write down all the things that confirmed my going to Maria's for the days when I begin to wonder what in the world I am doing half-way around the world (...and I am certain those days will come).  I wont bore you with every single detail, but over the next few posts would like to share just a few of the things that the Lord used to confirm His calling. Hope it encourages you as much as it does me to look back...

Phil. 1:6 "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."

I Peter 4:19 "...and trust your lives to the God who created you, for He will never fail you."

Isaiah 31:15 "Your own ears will hear Him. Right behind you a voice will say, "This is the way you should go,' whether to the right or to the left."

In September my pastor began a series in the book of Nehemiah. The overall theme of the series was "there's something bigger in your life than what's going on in your life; God has prepared things for you to do and He is working to shape your heart to see them." (Eph. 2:10). At the same time, I began reading the book Radical by David Platt, and was really challenged by the way He presented the biblical concept of radical obedience. At this time, I began praying that if God did want me to spend some time overseas, that He would begin to open doors and show me what that might look like in my life. At that time I had no idea where or when, I just knew the answer was yes and that I would have to trust Him to unravel the details in His perfect time.

Matt. 9:38 "The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask Him to send more workers into His fields."

One day in November I went to talk with my pastor, Eric, and Adam, our worship leader. I shared with them the desire the Lord had put in my heart to step out in obedience to His calling to "go" wherever He opened the door for me to do so. Adam's first response was "I'm not surprised," which coming from someone who knows me well and has known me for several years, really confirmed that it wasnt just some sporadic thing I had decided one day out of the blue.Following my time with them, I spent some time online looking at some different ministries and sending organizations...and became slightly overwhelmed...

Phil. 4:6-7 "Do not worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Prov. 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do and He will show you which path to take."

Psalm 37:4-5 "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart's desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you."

Joining the blog world...

I have finally done it! After months of deliberating, here I am. I love to write and although my initial thought tends to be "why would anyone want to read this?" the older I get the more God is teaching me that I have a story to tell. Whether I live in Alabama or in China, I have a story to tell. Whether I am teaching or rocking babies, I have a story to tell. Whether I am young or old, I have a story to tell. We all do. My story, however, is not my own. My story is that of a Savior who has beautifully taken my life and given me a story worth telling; not for my glory, but for His very own. There is nothing special or extraordinary in me outside of what He has done in my life. He has saved me and redeemed me, and because of that I can do the things He planned for me long ago...

"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10

At this present time, I am preparing to move to China...in two weeks! I will be there serving the sweet children at Maria's Big House of Hope in Louyang, China (check out www.showhope.org). Many of you have heard my story and how God has lead me to this point, but over the next few weeks before I leave, I will focus my posts on filling you in on the journey leading up to this move.

As I go, my prayer is that God would teach me how to love the way that He loves. That He would allow me to see the things that He sees as beautiful. His thoughts are so different from our own. What the world tells us is beautiful is so often so far from what truly is. I pray that my eyes would be open to see others the way that He does, and that through this I would be able to share with you some of the beautiful things He shows me along the way.

I heard a song a few months back that inspired my concept of beautiful things...
the chorus simply says:
 "You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of dust. You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of us."