The dreams usually start right around mid-July. Dreams of children running in and out of my classroom completely out of my control. Dreams of kids not listening to a word I say. If you are a teacher, you probably know exactly what I am talking about. Some may call it anxiety, I just like to think it's something that comes with being a teacher. The "back-to-school" dreams (or nightmares might be a little more fitting!)
This year was a little different. I didnt have the dreams, but the fears were still just as real, only totally different. Fear of leaving the place that had become so very familiar with kids that I adore for a place that was totally unfamiliar. The fear of not being able to communicate in the same language as my kids. The fear of caring for their individual physical needs. I felt (and still do feel on many days) totally inadequate. But over all that fear there is a peace. A peace of a certain uncertainty. Certain that this is where He has called me to be and serve and love for as long as He has me here. And a peace that although I am inadequate in my own strength, He is the One who makes me adequate.
So the first day came. My stomach in knots, I got out of bed, got ready, fixed a cup of coffee and walked downstairs (definate plus- I don't have to drive to work!) In the back of my mind I tried to remind myself over and over just to love. That is what He has called me to. Yes, to teach and enrich the lives of His children, but above all things, to love.
Thankfully I remembered very quickly that kids have this way of graciously accepting you and loving you just the way you are. Whether you've got yourself together or not, whether you speak their language or not, whether you look like them or not. A gentle and gracious reminder of how I should view others.
As the week went on, it got a little bit easier as I started to get more comfortable with my sweet new babies. It is a challange for sure, but a welcomed one, knowing it is straight from the hand of a Father who planned this long ago.
Here's a little glimpse into our first week together...
and here's to many more to come! :)
|Jessica and Judah|
|Isaac and Jaelynn|
|Fahlin and Naomi|