Friday night laundry: footed pajamas

It's Friday night and I am glad to be back in my usual Friday night niche...the laundry room :)

Actually, I am upstairs watching The Office (I found seasons 1-5 in the kitchen, complete with Chinese subtitles) but in between episodes, I am switching loads. The wonderful thing about having 5 washing machines is that I can do a few weeks' worth of laundry all at once; the downside is that the dryer cycle runs for 2 hours, so I forsee getting in quite a few Office episodes this evening. I think I mentioned this in my previous laundry post, but I do love being in our laundry room. One, I love to do laundry; but more so than loving laundry, I love going in there and seeing kids clothing hanging up on lines to dry. I love catching a glimpse at an orange shirt that belongs to Jaelynn, pink pants that belong to Lulu, and a little knit sweater that looks so cute on Joanna. And all those footed pajamas. I love footed pajamas. I love how cuddly kids look in footed pajamas. And as I look at all these clothes, it's not just the clothes that I see, but I am reminded of the faces. I am also reminded of the fact that I get to live with all of these kids; all 140 of them. And I give thanks for doing laundry.

Well, laundry is done and my clean sheets are calling...
Goodnight from this big blue house full of footed pajamas.

Through the eyes of a child

McK, Bec-Bec, and Brady

This summer before I came to China I had the chance to go spend a few weeks with family in Minnesota. Among my family there are two precious little cousins, Brady (age 7) and McKayla (age 6). The first night I was there, as I shared with my cousin and his wife about Maria’s Big House, Jen suggested that I should talk with the kids about where I was going since they were a bit worried about “Bec-Bec” going so far for so long. So the next morning when the kids got up, we sat at the computer and I showed them some videos from the Show Hope blog along with pictures of this big blue house I would be getting to live in. We started, of course, by watching “MBHOH has Beiber Fever” which they loved. Each time a video would end, they would ask for another, and several of the videos they asked to see numerous times. After about an hour, we took a break and decided we would watch more later on in the day. That evening after dinner Brady asked “Bec-Bec, can we watch some more ‘Hope Shows’?” I knew he meant “Show Hope” but I felt as though his name for it was so fitting because yes, they were shows of hope. It was as though they too were getting a glimpse of the hope that is taking place among these four huge walls.

The next day McKayla asked if we could draw and we decided on a picture of MBHOH that I could bring to China with me to put up on my wall. It started with one piece of paper. I drew the house and she colored it blue and drew in the white clouds. After watching a few more videos and seeing a few more pictures, she decided she wanted to add the playground, so we moved on to paper number two. We made sure to get the colors on the slide just right, and added a few of the rocking-horse type toys also found on the playground. Then of course we needed the swing set, so we added page three to our masterpiece (keep in mind that this was also not a one-day project, rather we added to it day by day). On the last day of our “masterpiece” McK decided she wanted to add a pool, so we did. But there was still something missing… the children. So we went back to some videos and thumbed through some pictures in the Miracles 2010 book and she found a few she wanted to add. But for a 6-year-old, the picture of course was not complete without a giant rainbow hovering over the big blue house.

Fast forward a few months…

Last night this four page picture (now hanging in my bedroom) caught my eye. All the children in the picture are smiling. Jessica is going down the slide. Isaac and Jaelynn are in the pool eating ice cream. Judah is riding in a Little Tykes car. As I looked closely at these pictures, I got a little glimpse into what McKayla's 6-year-old eyes saw when she saw pictures of the precious children here at MBH. She didn’t see the wheelchairs, the scars, the disabilities. She saw happy children just like herself; the only true difference between them being their need for a family. She later asked me if I would like to adopt a child from China one day when I get older (she still thinks I am a teenager, haha) and I told her I would; she replied “me too, when I grow up.”

I am not implying that we look at everything through “rose colored glasses,” but what an amazing thing to be able to look at these precious children and not see a disability but a child that God has intricately created who is simply in need of a family, of someone to say “me too.” She didn’t have to think twice about it, rather she realized the need and decided she would want to do something about it when she could.

Funny side note: there was a picture in one of the Miracle books of Isaac as a baby sitting in a chair strapped in with a black seat-belt. I figured the kids would ask why he was buckled in, but instead, Brady excitedly exclaimed “Hey, is Isaac a black-belt in karate?” J

To check out these videos from MBHOH, go to:
http://blog.showhope.org/category/orphancare/marias-big-house-of-hope-orphancare/

The pain of correction

The other morning, one of my kids came to class crying. She had just had casts taken off both of her legs and was wearing corrective shoes. The hope was that after casting and wearing the shoes for a set amount of time, her club feet would be corrected. The shoes were obviously causing her pain and there was nothing I could do to help ease her pain. I wanted to somehow look at her and tell her that even though it was painful, in the end, it would be worth the pain. I wanted to somehow explain to her that there was purpose behind it and something good would come out of her present pain, whether it was the ability to walk or even just wear shoes.

As I sat with her and felt such great sympathy, I wondered if that is how our Father sees us while we are walking through a season of pain. I wonder if He just wants to hold our faces, look straight into our eyes and say “It’s okay child. The pain will be worth the outcome. I am working something beautiful out of this pain.”

Jeremiah 10: 23-24 “I know, Lord, that our lives are not our own. We are not able to plan our own course. So correct me, Lord, but please be gentle…”

Romans 8:26, 28 “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness…and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.”

Proverbs 15:5 “…whoever learns from correction is wise.”

Food for my soul

I am back at Starbucks this afternoon, enjoying one last bit of sweet caffeinated bliss before returning to Luoyang tomorrow.

This morning I had the opportunity to attend an international fellowship here in Beijing with my new friend Kim (a mutual friend through Katie at Show Hope). The fellowship took place at a nearby restaurant and was filled with people from several different countries residing here in Beijing. We don’t have anything like this in the city of Luoyang, so it truly was a refreshing time of corporate worship and studying the Word. One of the songs we sang was a song that came out this summer by Chris Tomlin called “I Will Follow.” I had heard it many times before I left the states.

The chorus says:

Where You go, I’ll go     

Where You stay, I’ll stay                               

 When You move, I’ll move           

I will follow You

Who You love, I’ll love                  

How You serve, I’ll serve             

If this life I lose, I will follow You

It was a song that really encouraged me throughout the summer as I prepared to come to China. It truly spoke the desire of my heart to go where He is, and move when He moves, to love like He loves, and serve like He served. It was a sweet and gentle reminder of my calling here. For me, He is here. I believe He would be found walking the halls of Maria’s holding, loving, and blessing the children. He is among the sweet faces at Maria’s, and when I love and serve them, I am loving and serving Him. I know that He is ever present in all places where His Holy Spirit resides, but for me, this is the place where I have found Him the nearest and clearest.

The text for this morning was out of John 21 where He commands His disciples to feed His sheep. The speaker posed the question, “what does following Him look like?” Does it mean you quit your job, sell everything you have, and move to China? For me, yes, that is what following Him looks like. But that is not what it looks like for everyone. Nor does it mean just because I did sell my things, quit my job and move to China that “I have arrived”…it is a constant, daily, hourly, minute-to-minute following of the One who has called me here. And whether I live in China or the U.S. my purpose is to feed His sheep and to live my life just as He did (1 John 2:6); just as that is the calling of anyone who has committed their lives to following Him, no matter where our physical location is or what our occupation may be. The speaker put it this way, “my life is now borrowed.”

So yes, my “Starbucks fix” has been met this weekend, but ever so much more importantly, my soul has been fed and I have been reminded of what following Him looks like for me; I can’t wait to return and look at the sweet faces of the babies that remind me of looking straight into the face of the One who called me to them.

A taste of home

I am currently in Beijing sitting at a Starbucks. I am on my laptop with this much beloved white cup and green emblem and there are voices around me speaking English intertwined with those speaking Chinese. I have missed this place. I am even considering ordering two or three drinks, just because I can and I didnt have to walk an hour and a half to get here. All is well in my world today.

Someone told me a few weeks ago that getting things done here in China is a bit harder than what we may be used to in the states. For example, getting a cup of coffee, or downloading pictures onto a network, or buying groceries, or having a simple conversation. It's not impossible, it's just harder and it takes more out of you. It is making me a much more grateful person though as I learn that the majority of the world does not live in the comforts and conveniences that we are used to in the West. And this is the first time in a month that I have been out of Maria's and don't feel like I look different and stand out from everyone else around me. For those of you reading, please do not misunderstand me, I am not at all saying I don't want to be here, I absolutely and undoubtedly do, but this has just been one of those weeks where the "hard" things have just seemed more pronounced; physically, mentally, emotionally. Especially emotionally.

There are aspects of life at Maria's that I was very clearly told about before coming, so it has not come as a surprise. But they are also things that I know I could not prepare myself for before coming; I have no point of reference to pull from. There are things I will have to go through here and learn how to process them as I walk through them, trusting that His grace can and will be sufficient to carry me through each one. This was one of those weeks were I was able to get a little feel for "so that's what he was talking about when he said..."

So, this place is doing me some good today. An opportunity to think, to sit, to just be and enjoy something that I know. Something that is familiar as I process through the hard things I am learning.

I came to Beijing this weekend with a few of our nurses who are on break. I wanted to do a "test run" on the train before Laura, Robin, and Leanne all come in December. I didn't want it to be a case of the blind leading the blind, so I figured I would take advantage of getting the experience in and getting away for a couple of days. Here are a few shots from our little adventure...

Waiting on our train in Luoyang

on the sleeper train

Lilly, Heidi, and Krystal

Beijing train station

I give thanks

I wrote this last Saturday but I wanted to share it hopefully to encourage, but also for accountability. I know there will be times when I will want to complain and times that will be emotionally tough. I know those days will come, of that I have no doubt, but I want to be prepared. I want to have something to look back on, something to remind me of His faithfulness that will help me to trust that He can and will continue to be faithful as He is faithful now.

As I sit here this morning, it’s raining outside, it’s fairly quiet in the hall, I have nothing pressing to do. On some days, a time like this might drive me crazy. So often I feel as though I should be doing something; and if I’m not, I feel guilty and lazy for it. But I don’t today. In the stillness and in the quietness of this time, I give thanks. Thanks that He has brought me here. I write this now so that I will be reminded, on days when I just want a good friend to be with, or when I want to get in my car and drive to the store, or sit at Starbucks and read, or go see a movie, and “thanks” is not the first word that comes to mind. Now that God’s hand of providence is fresh on my mind, I give thanks. Now that I feel truly grateful to be in this place, and nowhere else, I give thanks.

“Remembering is an act of thanksgiving, a way of thanksgiving; this turn of the heart over time’s shoulder to see all the long way His arms have carried…remembering with thanks is what causes us to trust- to really believe.”  

One Thousand Gifts

On a separate note…

I hailed my first taxi today! It’s funny how the seemingly small things at home become such huge things when you are in a place that is so unfamiliar (not that I hailed any taxis at home, but if I did, I would at least have the assurance of being able to communicate with the taxi driver). I had lunch today with a girl I met at the Joy language school last week when I went to observe a class. She is from Oregon and has been here a little over two years. We went to a little café that served great coffee and homemade cheesecake. She brought along two of the other foreign teachers.  I made a comment to her about the staring (which I made reference to in a previous post) and she said it actually gets more aggravating the longer you are here because there comes a point where not only do you see them staring, but you also begin to understand what they are saying. I guess until I get to that point I will live in ignorant bliss.

After lunch, we walked to Wancheng Park (where the other little coffee shop was that I went to last week) and I walked around and read for a little while. I ran into our Chinese teacher there, which made this city of 6 million seem a little more familiar. I guess it brings new meaning to the term “one in a million”…only here it would be “one in six million” J

Up on the roof

It's a "double-blogger" Wednesday...I am feeling extra inspired to write this week, so here I am again. Hopefully the internet will hold up long enough to get this posted in a timely manner :)

As I mentioned in my previous post, this was the first week we've had without rain in almost a month. In fact, the weather has been pretty near perfect here this week. Not too cold, not too hot; keep the windows open kind of good. On Tuesday afternoon I decided to spend a little time up on the roof studying. At one point during my time there I looked up and saw a bright blue sky and white puffy clouds. Suddenly, it hit me...the sky was blue! I know at this point you are thinking "so what?" but what you don't know is that I have not seen a blue sky since I arrived in Luoyang. Yes, we've had days without rain, but even on those days there is this grayish-yellowish tint to the sky and even though you know the sun should be shinning, it's more like a low glowing circle in the sky that you can stare at directly without even squinting. So now that you know, you can imagine my excitement when I noticed the sky was blue.

I have been reading this book over the past two months called One Thousand Gifts. In it, the author talks about the importance of giving thanks in all things and for all things. As she passes her days, her eyes are opened to everyday things that she had never really paid attention to before, daily graces that the Father has given to her. It has challenged me to really keep my own eyes open to those things that I may normally count as ordinary and to see them for what they are, gifts from my Father. Over the past month, a few of those gifts have included: waking to the sound of babies crying, walking in bare feet, laughing with new friends, the feeling of home, hearing a familiar voice on the other end of a call, emails, sleeping with the windows open, the way Isaac's eyes disappear when he laughs, a good latte', hearing Fahlin say "Becca", blowing kisses, daisies....I could go on and on, but you get the point. Today, I can add blue skies to my list of gifts. As I talked with my friend Laura on Tuesday evening and I shared with her the joy I had found in my blue sky experience, her response was "you know, we can send you chocolate and coffee, and other things you love, but we can't send you a blue sky." As simple as that may sound, it was a great reminder that this was a gift from the Father, and I thank Him for opening my eyes to see it for what it is. On most days I am fully blind to all the graces surrounding me, but on this occasion, I am thankful that He allowed me to see and appreciate.

I will leave you all with a little song my sweet friend Abbey "rewrote" for me during my move to Maria's. It's an old song by Watermark, and each time I have moved, she has changed the words around to fit my new place and space. Being that it's September, I thought it would be fitting to share...

(I have italicized her inserts to the song)

Well it's sweltering hot September
and the leaves have fallen true in Luoyang
And I do believe I'm still in love with You
Yeah, my scenery keeps changing
and sometimes it's hard to view
But You've let me see so much since I've known You
But I headed to where it seemed like nowhere
You told me You'd come
You told me You'd meet me here

So I've settled here, and that is that
For You to show me who I am
You had to take me to a country I'd never been
And all the things I dreaded most
about the things unseen
Have now become the sweetest part of me
And though I headed to where it seemed like nowhere
I knew You would come,
I knew You would meet me in China


And You were to say,
"Welcome to Maria's
I know you've traveled far
And it's a lot more foreign and isolated here
than what you're used to
And I know, that in the winter time
things aren't what they used to be
So all you really have here now, is Me..."

Our rooftop view at Maria's Big House

Our rooftop haven

I can see clearly now the rain is gone...

It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright, bright sunshiny day!