(This was written about a month ago, but since posting a blog in China can often take f.o.r.e.v.e.r, I've been storing these until we were back in Hong Kong where internet is fast...)
This time is a bittersweet one as I learn what it’s like to be genuinely excited about this new season in life, while slowly learning to let go of a season that taught, grown, and challenged me in so many ways.
This week brought such joy to be back in a house that has become my home, where I know and am known in a country that remains very foreign some days, and with children whom I absolutely adore. It also brought sadness as I think about slowly letting go of these precious ones that have become a great joy to me over the past year and a half.
Although it would take countless paragraphs and many pages to share all that I have learned and am mentally “sorting” through, one thing that seems to be a constant is trust. Trusting in the sovereignty and goodness of God when things just aren’t as they should be. When children are sick, dying, and without their families to care for them, some days trusting in that goodness is very hard. When you have to simply relish today because you don’t know what tomorrow, next week, or next month will hold for a child that you dearly love, trusting is difficult.
But in the midst of the difficulty, I cannot forget that He loves them far more than I ever could. And somehow, in the blurriness of their futures, I have to remember that He is redeeming all things. No they are not now as they should be, but one day they will be.
This week we had a team with a group of teachers who wanted to teach preschool. I was hesitant at first; mainly for the children who would be uneasy with strangers, but on a more selfish level realizing that it was a step in letting go of something that I dearly love, and also trusting that someone else would love and take care of the kids in a way that I perceive and believe they should.
Needless to say, the week went great, classes were awesome, and the kids had a blast with our visiting teachers and new activities. In a very simple way, it was a reminder that He will provide what they need and that their care goes far beyond anything I can offer or provide them. I am simply invited to be a small part of their story and they a large part of mine...
|Judah making a shark with Kelly|
|Lillian and Delyn|
|The love The Very Hungry Caterpillar|
|Fahlin and Charlotte decorating butterfly wings|
|Could he possibly be any cuter?|
There is a little guy whom has captured my heart over the past few months. He has the chubbiest cheeks and he loves to cuddle and give kisses. He recently learned to walk and it was so exciting to celebrate with his nannies as they showed me what new things he’d learned while I was away. I told Mikey the other night (in wishful, not really-realistic thinking…) that we should adopt him (we say that often about many of our kids). After saying that I thought about the fact that in reality it would be quite a long time before he would be “ours” if we did adopt him (or any child). But then I thought about the gift that I have in getting to hold him now, in getting to see his first steps now, in getting his kisses now. Regardless of whether or not they are our children, we get the opportunity to relish and delight in these stages in the lives of our kids.
...Once again reminded that I am invited to be a small part of their story and they a large part of mine. Ultimately we are all invited to be part of a much larger story than our own; I am grateful that my part involves the lives of these precious little ones.