Wrestling with purpose

         A few weeks ago we attended a church in Beijing where the speaker was talking about purpose. It had me a bit uneasy as I thought through what my purpose is…I mean, I have been living in the middle of China in a house full of precious children, children who have been orphaned.  This should be an easy answer for me.  But when he asked us to share in small groups, I got really nervous and wondered what I would say. Kids? Orphaned children? Teaching? Somehow none of those answers really seemed ”right” (not that there is a right or wrong answer, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it…

They went around the room and few people shared their answers…fighting injustice, the lost, etc…then my wise husband spoke up and said that our passions all lead us to the same thing, and that is desiring to restore right relationship with our Father, our Creator, as it was intended to be. So whether with children, with adults, with prisoners, or elderly, ultimately our purpose, our hope, is for things to be the way they should be, the way they were intended to be; our purpose is redemption.

As I spend this summer moving out of my role at MBHOH and into a role as wife, making our house a home, into a new teaching job, there’s a lot of processing that is and will be taking place. I truly grieve the loss of moving from something that I genuinely love, but also excitedly welcome this new season. I think I need to realize that just because I am not living in a home full of orphaned children, it does not change my purpose. Regardless of where I am and what I am doing, my heart should always seek restoration; whether it is for myself, or those around me, for my husband, my students, my future children, for those who suffer from injustice, or children who are orphaned.  

In the past month, I've been reminded in simple ways of God bringing me to China. Although there was pain in leaving, it was so clear. One of those reminders has been Ephesians 2:10 and remembering that He still has good works prepared for me, regardless of where my physical location is. 

A part of the story

(This was written about a month ago, but since posting a blog in China can often take f.o.r.e.v.e.r, I've been storing these until we were back in Hong Kong where internet is fast...)

This time is a bittersweet one as I learn what it’s like to be genuinely excited about this new season in life, while slowly learning to let go of a season that taught, grown, and challenged me in so many ways.

            This week brought such joy to be back in a house that has become my home, where I know and am known in a country that remains very foreign some days, and with children whom I absolutely adore. It also brought sadness as I think about slowly letting go of these precious ones that have become a great joy to me over the past year and a half.

            Although it would take countless paragraphs and many pages to share all that I have learned and am mentally “sorting” through, one thing that seems to be a constant is trust. Trusting in the sovereignty and goodness of God when things just aren’t as they should be. When children are sick, dying, and without their families to care for them, some days trusting in that goodness is very hard. When you have to simply relish today because you don’t know what tomorrow, next week, or next month will hold for a child that you dearly love, trusting is difficult.

            But in the midst of the difficulty, I cannot forget that He loves them far more than I ever could. And somehow, in the blurriness of their futures, I have to remember that He is redeeming all things. No they are not now as they should be, but one day they will be.

This week we had a team with a group of teachers who wanted to teach preschool. I was hesitant at first; mainly for the children who would be uneasy with strangers, but on a more selfish level realizing that it was a step in letting go of something that I dearly love, and also trusting that someone else would love and take care of the kids in a way that I perceive and believe they should.

Needless to say, the week went great, classes were awesome, and the kids had a blast with our visiting teachers and new activities. In a very simple way, it was a reminder that He will provide what they need and that their care goes far beyond anything I can offer or provide them. I am simply invited to be a small part of their story and they a large part of mine...

Judah making a shark with Kelly

Lillian and Delyn

Hope's shark

The love The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Fahlin and Charlotte decorating butterfly wings

Could he possibly be any cuter?

       
        There is a little guy whom has captured my heart over the past few months. He has the chubbiest cheeks and he loves to cuddle and give kisses. He recently learned to walk and it was so exciting to celebrate with his nannies as they showed me what new things he’d learned while I was away. I told Mikey the other night (in wishful, not really-realistic thinking…) that we should adopt him (we say that often about many of our kids). After saying that I thought about the fact that in reality it would be quite a long time before he would be “ours” if we did adopt him (or any child). But then I thought about the gift that I have in getting to hold him now, in getting to see his first steps now, in getting his kisses now. Regardless of whether or not they are our children, we get the opportunity to relish and delight in these stages in the lives of our kids.

...Once again reminded that I am invited to be a small part of their story and they a large part of mine. Ultimately we are all invited to be part of a much larger story than our own; I am grateful that my part involves the lives of these precious little ones.

As seasons come and go

 

Where the time has gone is hard to say. I cannot believe this much time has passed since my previous posting (8 months...seriously). Fall and winter, spring now into summer...it seems like nearly last week that I wrote the last post. And to think of all that has transpired since…

I read a blog post a few months ago titled "Much to Say" and I immediately thought "Yes! I can definitely relate!" But then busy-ness and planning and transitioning crept in and more and more time passed.

So here, in a nut-shell is the recap on the past 8 months and hopefully a kick-start back into the writing that I love to do.

So here we go....

Most of you know that Mikey and I got engaged while we were both home last November (old news, right?)...

Another highlight of the visit home was getting to these some familiar faces on the other side of the globe...

"Jillian/Jiji" at MBHOH, now Breana

Isaac, one of my precious preschoolers at MBHOH

"Cadence" at MBHOH, now Jack

"Jeremy" at MBHOH, now Jon

Christmas back in the Big Blue House...

Our Chinese teacher, Bei Bei, helping wrap slippers for the nannies

Loved a visit from sweet friends Meredith and Brandon Greer on their way to pick up their little Ella Hope

 Lots and lots and lots of slippers

Christmas morning with the Martins

Then a mid-morning flight to Beijing to spend time with my fiance', his mom and brother, and our Beijing family...

Our snow-covered cottage

Seeing winter off and welcoming Spring....

In China, it is customary for families to make jiao zi (dumplings) on New Years Day

I won the jiao zi making contest :)

Fireworks galore' all night long!

Celebrating with some of my favorite little peeps

Getting to eat the jiao zi, yeah!

Following day we were off for a park outing

Sometimes a large group of foreigners can draw quite a crowd...it gets a little unnerving ;)

Ending the day off at one of our favorite Western stops!

As spring arrived, wedding planning and prep was in full effect. Planning a wedding in China had its challenges, but the end result was nearly perfect! We made it to May and welcomed many family members and friends that came half-way across the world to celebrate our wedding with us.

By the way, if you'd like to see all of our wedding photos, please visit www.vhobbsphotography.com, go to portfolio, and click on McCoy/Shook wedding or either of the China albums. Our friend and photographer, Ginny, did an amazing job capturing the week for us.

Mikey and I are now living in Beijing at New Hope Foster Home, in what we like to refer to as our little cottage. It is actually a guard house turned home, but we have made it homey and ours, and we love it. One of the best parts is hearing babies from the foster home playing on the playground just outside our window.

We will be traveling back and forth to Luoyang this summer to help with Show Hope teams and then I will begin a teaching job at an international school in August. I will be teaching 1st grade.

Married life is great, though we are daily reminded of how selfish we can be. I have a sweet husband and we have much to be grateful for. 

Needless to say, transitioning out of Maria's Big House of Hope has been/continues to be difficult and I know it will take a lot of processing as I leave a place and children that I dearly love. My hope this summer is that even as I transition I will be able to share through this blog and that it will continue to be a way to process through all these changes (and hopefully be somewhat of an encouragement to those of you who are still reading...)

A few nights before I left MBH for the wedding, I was sitting with some of the kids in the Tinkerbell room. There is a little guy in there who cries when I simply look at him; if I say his name, it's all over! This particular night, sweet "Fahlin" was sitting on my lap and when I looked at "Colin", he began to frown. I told her, in my minimal Chinese, "he doesn't like me very much." Her sweet hands grabbed my cheeks and she looked me in the eyes and said:

“Ni bu shi lao wai, ni shi Becca” 

Which means "you're not a foreigner, you're Becca." My eyes welled with tears and I held her close and I thought about what she had said; essentially, she knew that I was saying that he didn't like me because I am a foreigner (and he is scared of me), but to her I am no foreigner, I am just me and that's all she sees. These were such sweet "parting words" from one whom I have grown to love so dearly.